


All I Want

by daughterofthesky (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angels, Angels vs. Demons, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being Lost, Cliche, Darkness, Demons, Doubt, Full Moon, Gen, Heaven, Heaven & Hell, Heaven vs Hell, Hell, Hell Trauma, Identity Issues, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Poetry, Late at Night, Loneliness, Moonlight, Past Relationship(s), Poetic, Poetry, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Short One Shot, World of Darkness, changlix, free interpretation, lowkey changlix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 11:53:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/daughterofthesky
Summary: Darkness. Changbin lived surrounded by it, but he didn't mind cause he liked it. But it hadn't always been like this…"Walking through the dark is not scary if you know where you are going."But if you loved me,Why did you leave me?





	All I Want

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All I Want](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/406515) by Kodaline. 



> THIS IS A SUPERNATURAL WORK OF FICTION.  
>  FREE INTERPRETATION AU  
>  i'm not really sure what i tried to do with this, what my intention was, and i'm not surprised if you don't understand what's going on cause i don't know either oops  
>  please, keep in mind english is not my first language !

_Darkness is my friend,_  
_But am I Darkness's friend?_

Changbin lived in total darkness. Ever since the sun disappeared behind the end of the world, the moon had been the protagonist in the sky. The full moon remained intact and angelical up in the sky, alone, radiating its mysterious and gloomy aura. The darkness had since endured, and the people had forgotten that there was once sunlight. This was how Changbin lived.  
He had forgotten how the sun felt on his skin and what its warmth felt like, and he could vaguely remember colors: his life was black and white, dull, _lifeless_. But he didn't complain, he liked the dark, he had always felt safe knowing no one could see him in complete darkness.  
It was like an eternal winter, dead and wilted and covered under the thin layer of black, but hot, _burning_ hot. An undeniable warmth that now seemed to burn them to their deaths agonized and tortured them, sweat running down their faces like a natural waterfall.  
Nevertheless, he loved the dark. Even though the dim moonlight wasn't as illuminating as the sunlight, he didn't complain. In the dark, no one could see him cry.

* * *

 

>   
>  All I want is nothing more  
>  To hear you knocking at my door  
>  'Cause if I could see your face once more  
>  I could die as a happy man I'm sure

The trees rustled in the evening, and he could feel shivers running through his spine and goosebumps as he walked along the empty road, hands in his pockets and his head down low.  
Changbin couldn't remember how he had ended in that place, but he knew he hadn't always been alone. There had been someone like him, lost and alone. And maybe between the maze in their lives, they had found each other and fallen in love.  
He wasn't sure where he was going, but he was sure he wouldn't slow down. He picked up his pace as he went past the forbidden forest: he wasn't sure why it was forbidden but he wasn't a rule breaker. Changbin was a wonderer, he always had the ability to wonder about anything and anyone, and his curiosity never seemed to cease. He was a person whose understanding of nature, structure and the universe always left him constantly awed by the complexity of practically everything he saw: he was part impressionable, part naive, part optimistic. Most importantly, he was a very passionate and emotional person, and he knew that the other person had found him when he most needed it. And it had meant something to both of them, so why was he hurting?

>   
>  When you said your last goodbye  
>  I died a little bit inside  
>  I lay in tears in bed all night  
>  Alone without you by my side

He longed to remember that person more than ever, because maybe that way he could explain why he felt so empty and sour. He knew, deep down inside, that something had broken them apart, and he was forced to erase that person. Changbin wondered if he had resisted, if he had cried, if he had done something at all.  
But now darkness was his friend, a shadow he could rely on, a place where he was all by himself, and he could cry his heart out, weeping its broken pieces away delicately and hurtfully.  
His chest — _hear_ t — was not the only thing that caused him pain: his back hurt as well. He felt as if something had been taken away from him, like a bone or some piece of his skin, because every time he tried to sleep or just lay down, the pain started to crawl right up and he would give up — it didn't matter anyway because he suffered insomnia.

* * *

 

>   
>  'Cause you brought out the best of me  
>  A part of me I'd never seen  
>  You took my soul wiped it clean  
>  Our love was made for movie screens

Changbin made his way round the forbidden forest into the graveyard. The dim rays of the moonlight lighted the way, guiding him through the decaying tombstones and the upright roots of the old, arching trees. An unpleasant feeling of being observed sent more shivers through his spine and he twitched. He stopped abruptly and scanned his surroundings: he was alone in the quietness of the dark night.  
He rolled up his sleeve and, with a needle in his hand, crossed out four vertical lines that he had made some time ago on the end of his wrist: It had been exactly a thousand days since he had woken up there, suffering a terrible amnesia and an emptiness which paralyzed him emotionally.  
If there was something being there — being down what looked like a black eternal hole — had taught him was that nothing was strong enough to paralyze him anymore. So he comforted himself, drowning his head in his arms and wept, unashamed and unbothered by that constant feeling of being watched from afar.

 _All I want is to see you._  
_Darkness?_  
_Darkness?_  
_Are you there?_  
_Are you listening to me?_  
_All I want is to get out._  
_Run._  
_Run!_  
_I can't._  
_Darkness is my friend._  
_Am I Darkness's friend?_  
_The end of the road._  
_It's dark._  
_Where are you?_  
_I want to see you._  
_Do you want to see me?_  
_Darkness._  
_Darkness._  
_Why did you leave me?_  
_Are you there?_  
_I want to see you one last time._  
_Do you want to see me?_  
_It's dead._  
_Darkness?_  
_Darkness._

An unwarming wave of newly found feelings he had denied hit him violently as he wept, now even more. So he ran.

>   
>  But If you loved me,  
>  Why did you leave me?  
>  Take my body  
>  Take my body  
>  All I want is  
>  All I need is  
>  To find somebody  
>  I'll find somebody

He needed light. Life. He panted, uneasy. His feeling of loneliness, for once, perished, but now he felt like he was on the run. He was searching for something, _someone_ , and he had to find it. Changbin was running out of time.  
But he had found him first, amid the trees, the tombstones and the dark, and the moonlight.

 _Darkness._  
_Darkness._  
_It consumes me,_  
_Slowly choking me._  
_Darkness, are you my friend?_  
_You are mine._  
_All I need is you._  
_All I want is you._  
_Darkness?_  
_Darkness?_  
_Why are you crying?_  
_I'm coming home._  
_Hell._  
_I'll be out._  
_Heaven._  
_I'll see you again._  
_Angel,_  
_All I want is you,_  
_I missed you._  
_Take my body._  
_I'll find you._

An unknown force dragged him down, until he was lying down on the damp grass, between tombs and roots and decay and moss and the dead. His back ached more than ever, like he was lying on a pile of burning wood and he couldn't stand up, his legs had given up completely and they were weak.  
Among the pain, the suffering, the confusion, he saw _light_. An iridescent glow shone down on him with such intensity and energy that Changbin closed his eyes, stretching his arms and covering his face. It was too bright, too blinding: he wasn't used to it.  
But something about that light, something about the way it shone on him — so delicate, so pristine, so angelical —had made him remember what he had been missing all along: his own angel. His boyfriend. Changbin remembered his face, his honey colored hair, his cute little freckles that seemed to spread from his nose down his chubby cheeks. And his smile, it was shining down on him, radiating a light he had forgotten existed in this world. His face was glowing like the morning sun he had forgotten about, like everything else.  
"Where have you been? I've been waiting for you."  
Changbin felt his body's weight against the cold wet grass once more before it disappeared behind him, as he made his way through the sky and closer to the light. His back ceased aching, and in its place he now felt what he had been missing, what had been ripped off of him for a long time. He smiled, for the first time in forever.  
"Welcome to Heaven," the familiar, low, raspy voice said. And he never felt more like home.

The darkness eventually engulfed that light, and the world became pitch black once more.  
And then there was nothing, only the whispers of the wind in the eternal night.

**Author's Note:**

> FREE INTERPRETATION AU !!!!  
> I still need to proofread this so mistakes and typos may appear sorry !


End file.
